Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat, just until it shimmers like your highlighter.
Add onions and garlic; sauté until soft and fragrant, like you’re seducing the room.
Toss in mushrooms; cook until they release their drama—er, moisture—and brown beautifully.
Slide vegan cutlets into the pan; sear each side for 2–3 minutes like they’re auditioning for a Food Network gig.
Pour in coconut cream, almond milk, nutritional yeast, lemon juice, thyme, salt, and pepper.
Simmer for 8–10 minutes until the sauce thickens and everything feels rich enough to be in a Hallmark movie.
Top with fresh parsley and serve hot, preferably with someone who’ll do the dishes.