Preheat your grill pan or grill over medium heat until it’s hotter than your last situationship.
Brush plant-based cutlets with olive oil and sprinkle with paprika, garlic powder, salt, and pepper.
Grill cutlets for 3–4 minutes per side, flipping when they’ve got those cute grill lines.
Meanwhile, toss mint, parsley, garlic, lemon juice, olive oil, maple syrup, and salt in a blender.
Blend mint sauce until smooth and bright green, like your envy when someone else’s eyeliner is perfect.
Remove “chops” from grill, plate with flair, and drizzle with that glorious mint sauce.
Garnish with a smug smile and maybe some lemon wedges.