Heat olive oil in a soup pot over medium heat like the domestic goddess you are.
Sauté onion, garlic, carrots, and celery for 5 minutes until your kitchen smells like actual effort.
Add cumin, thyme, pepper, and a dramatic pinch of salt. Stir to combine and pretend you're a TV chef.
Toss in lentils, broth, and the bay leaf. Stir, then bring it all to a bold boil.
Lower the heat, cover, and simmer for 25 minutes until lentils are tender but not mushy—like your boundaries.
Stir in zucchini and greens. Simmer 5 more minutes until veggies are soft but not sad.
Finish with lemon juice, taste-test, and adjust seasoning like you mean it.
Ladle into bowls, take a pic for Instagram, then eat like no one's watching.