Preheat oven to 375°F—aka glow-up temperature.
Heat oil in a skillet and sauté garlic until it smells like you’re about to change lives.
Add spinach; stir until wilted like your last situationship.
Mix spinach with vegan feta, lemon juice, oregano, salt, and pepper.
Slice a pocket into each plant-based breast (don’t be shy, go deep).
Stuff mixture into each “chicken” with love and passive-aggression.
Secure with toothpicks or twine like a Pinterest overachiever.
Sear both sides in the skillet until golden—about 3 minutes each.
Transfer to baking dish and bake for 20 minutes, uncovered.
Serve hot, with wine, sarcasm, and a side of smug self-satisfaction.